stats

i remember always paying attention to statistics
the first were the ones that said
i might grow up to be a drug addict
’cause abused children
usually end up drug addicts
so i swore i’d never use drugs

then i became a different kind of statistic
one of those foster kids people hear about
and i started paying attention to the path laid out
before me
no college
and
early pregnancy
and
criminal activity
and
more drug abuse
then one day i saw this poster
up at the Department of Social Services
it had a picture of Charles Manson
and Hitler
and John Wayne Gacy
and some other really scary white guy
at the bottom it said
Abused Children Can Grow Up To Be Famous

after 6 foster homes
10 schools
and a suicide attempt or three
i remember the day i first stuck a needle in my arm
and i thought about how
all these
rabbit holes
are so damn easy
to fall
into

funny how i never heard any statistics
of abused kids who grow up
to change things or
help people
or fall down
and get back up
who fuck up
because they’re human
like every one is human
and is just trying to make it
just trying to live
and be loved
like everyone is doing

funny how the people
calculating those statistics out
are probably just college interns
on some stupid pitstop in their
bullshit american dream